Billy Joel: Greatest Hits, Volumes I and II (1985)

As you may know, I'm something of a connoisseur of compilations. I have three guidelines that I like my greatest hits to follow, though I am open to these rules being disregarded in certain cases. It's not an exact science. Billy Joel's 1985 Greatest Hits Volumes I and II (an odd title for a set that was never sold separately) is proof of that. 

It mostly follows the rules. The songs are in chronological order. There are no remixes, just a couple of single edits; there are two live song, but those were actually were the versions that charted. And there are two new songs - we'll get to them eventually - but both ended up in the Top 40, so in retrospect that was a good decision.

My mom bought the double LP when it came out and then dubbed it to a tape that lived in her car for at least three years. It and An Innocent Man were part of the soundtrack of the second half of my first decade of life. So I have a hard time criticizing something so ingrained in my consciousness.

That said, there are some oddities about the album that I didn't realize until I bought it on CD when I was in college. Because of space considerations, there were four additional songs on the CD, and it was weird to hear those inserted in the order I was so used to. While researching this review, I discovered it's even more complicated. The original CD dropped "Don't Ask Me Why" and replaced it with "Honesty," but only on the initial pressings. Then, in a 2017 re-release, both were included, which makes sense as both were Top 25 hits. Digging even deeper, I discovered that four of the songs on Greatest Hits Volume I and II included didn't chart at all, whereas six songs that did chart were not included on any version of the album.

And that got me thinking about the choices that were made in including these particular songs, and the how it blurs the lines between being a Greatest Hits versus as Best Of - the difference being that the former should only include songs that charted. 

To work this out, let's use the 2017 CD as our guideline. It has 26 songs total, including the two "new" ones. Assuming the inclusion of those two is forgone, that gives us 24 "old" songs to work with. Let's set aside the four that didn't chart, "Captain Jack," "New York State of Mind," "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant," and "The Stranger." They're all Billy classics, but more Best Of material than Greatest Hits. If you go down that rabbit hole then you also need to find room for "Angry Young Man," "Miami 2017," and "Vienna."

Because "Captain Jack" and "Scenes..." are both over seven minutes long, that makes room for the omitted charting songs be included. The result would look like this (added tracks are bolded; highest U.S. chart position is in parentheses):

Disc One
1. "Piano Man" (#25)
2. "Worst Comes to Worst" (#80)
3. "Travelin' Prayer" (#77)
4. "The Entertainer" (#34)
5. "Say Goodbye to Hollywood" (#17)
6. "Just the Way You Are" (#3)
7. "Movin' Out" (#17)
8. "Only the Good Die Young" (#24)
9. "She's Always a Woman" (#17)
10. "My Life" (#3)
11. "Big Shot" (#14)
12. "Honesty" (#24)
13. You May Be Right (#7)
14. It's Still Rock and Roll To Me (#1)

Disc Two
1. "Don't Ask Me Why" (#19)
2. "Sometimes a Fantasy" (#36)
3. "She's Got a Way" (live) (#23)
4. "Pressure" (#20)
5. "Allentown" (#17)
6. "Goodnight Saigon" (#56)
7. "Tell Her About It" (#1)
8. "Uptown Girl" (#3)
9. "An Innocent Man" (#10)
10. "The Longest Time" (#14)
11. "Leave a Tender Moment Alone" (#27)
12. "Keeping the Faith" (#18)
13. "You're Only Human (Second Wind)" (#9)
14. "The Night Is Still Young" (#34)

So why didn't Billy - or whoever put the album together - do it that way?  Well, for one they probably weren't so pedantic to think about the difference between Greatest Hits and Best Ofs. They were probably thinking of it, as they should, as a one-stop-shop for all the best-loved Billy Joel songs. To that point, I wouldn't call "Worse Comes to Worst" or "Travelin' Prayer" particularly beloved, especially compared to "The Stranger" or "New York State of Mind." Also, including those three additional songs from An Innocent Man would be asking buyers to re-buy 60% of an album that had just come out two years earlier (but considering that Billy would - somewhat awkwardly - put two of those tracks on Greatest Hits Volume III, it was short-sighted decision).

All of this is to say, outside of not finding a way to keep "An Innocent Man" - the highest charting omission and a perfect song, to boot - I think the original album is a pretty darn good compilation that has stood the test of time. And the fact that they did include "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" has allowed me to choose that song on the jukebox many a time.

That brings us, at last, to the two new songs. I love them both, and it's hard for me to regard them objectively, because when I was a kid I didn't differentiate between what was an old song and what was a new song. They were all Billy Joel to me. The boppy and inspirational "You're Only Human (Second Wind)" is a close cousin to Matthew Wilder's "Break My Stride." Meanwhile power ballad "The Night is Still Young" would have slotted perfectly into An Innocent Man, with an inspired and passionate vocal performance, and lyrics that give hints about Billy's growing dissatisfaction with living the life of a rock and roll star, something that would come to the fore on The Bridge.

BONUS
Since I didn't actually write an entry about Greatest Hits Volume III, which was released in 1997, why don't I add some thoughts here?

•  It breaks two rules, one in a minor way (the remix of "All About Soul") and the other egregiously (the three lackluster "new songs" - more below). But this goes to show you that even mostly adhering to my guidelines is no guarantee of success.

• As I made clear three paragraphs above, I think including the two previously-omitted An Innocent Man songs was a cheat, since it interrupts the chronology of the three volumes. And "Leave a Tender Moment Alone" still gets no respect!

• I know this contradicts my point about greatest hits collections only including the songs that charted, but I was very disappointed in 1997 when this CD did not include Billy's banger from the 1988 Disney film Oliver & Company, "Why Should I Worry?", and I'm still disappointed now.

• The less said about the three covers (of songs originally by Bob Dylan, Freddie Scott, and Leonard Cohen) the better. As a result of his growing anathema for songwriting, Billy did a lot of covers in the late '80s and early '90s, and none of them are really worth a darn.

• If I'm so smart, could I do any better? You be the judge. Here's my suggestion for a 2024 revision and re-release of Greatest Hits Volume III:

1. "A Matter of Trust"

2. "Modern Woman"
3. "This Is the Time"

4. "Baby Grand"

5. "Why Should I Worry?"
6. "We Didn't Start the Fire"
7. "Leningrad"
8. "The Downeaster 'Alexa'"
9. "I Go to Extremes"
10. "That's Not Her Style"
11. "Shameless"
12. "And So It Goes"
13. "The River of Dreams"
14. "All About Soul"
15. "Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel)"
16. "Famous Last Words"
17. "Turn the Lights Back On"

Plus it needs a black and white photo and matching font on the text, for visual continuity. Here's a shot at the former, at least.